No Static At All

Posting after a while. Hi there. o/

Well, my school prom is tomorrow. =O !

I’ve got a suit but I wasn’t going to bother spending a bunch of money (that I don’t have anyways) just to rent a tux, so I got a perfectly fine suit from my dad for free! It’s pretty sweet.

I’m not taking a particular girl out for this prom, although just going with the idea that going with friends is plenty good enough and honestly? I think it really is. I’ll dance around and talk with a bunch of friends, instead of being expected to go about with a single girl that I don’t know or care about much.

I’m not sure how to keep on going with this…I suppose it’s just an update post? Yeah, sure, let us call it that. Peace.

Damn

Listen To The Fear That’s Gone, Strangled By The Wishes Of Pater

School

Good:

Teachers seem nice. edit/ They are nice.
Classes dont seem bad. edit/ Most are awesome, not all but most.
It’s not Madison. edit/ noooo! :D
I’ll meet new people. edit/ Already made 2 friends, woo! :D
I’ll learn edit/ yeah, of course. XD
I’ll be one more step to a better future. edit/ yep! : )

Bad:

It’s school… >_>

R.I.P. Isaac Hayes, Otherwise Known As “Chef”

The big, black, deep voiced, Soul singer and the voice of Chef off South Park dies at 65. Dammit, that’s a shame. I just gave him some listens of his singing and enjoyed it and his role as Chef on South Park was seriously one of my favorites and always was one of them I loved most. I hope you’re in peace, man. Thanks for the laughs, music, and just being around overall, dude! : )

Chef? What’s a prostitute?

^^^^
Epic Chefness! Epic Isaac! Ohhh man, at least we have stuff like this to remember him by! You were a funny dude, Isaac! :D

Happy 60th B-Day Daddy Head

My dad turned 60, July 17, 2008. Wow. :0

So You Ask: Who Is My Favorite Star Wars Character And Why?

Ahh, Star Wars, the legendary series that’s been passed generation to generation. I first saw those epic movies as a young lad and have still watched them since growing up. What I’ve been asked lately is this: Who is your favorite Star Wars character and why? Why, let me tell you! :)

JEK PORKINS – RED 6

Yes folks, THE almighty JEK FUCKING PORKINS!
Jek Tono Porkins was a pilot for the Rebel forces. He was fat. He was sexy. He kicked ass. He took no prisoners. He had a good appetite. He had moobs. He had flames on his helmet. He was a BAMF. HE BLEW UP THE MOTHERFUCKING DEATHSTAR!

Oh, I know what you will say! “Nuh uh! Luke Skywalker did!”
No! He did not!! JEK TONO PORKINS DID! I SAW IT WITH MY OWN EYES!

Early on, Porkins was called in unexpectingly at the last second to participate in the Battle of Yavin, the battle to take down the Death Star and save all! Anyways, a member of the Red team by the name of Wes Janson (<333) became ill, very ill. So ill, he could not get out of bed. Janson and Porkins were very close friends and Porkins knew Janson was upset. Porkins, being the great man and friend he was, told Janson, “Do not worry, friend, I shall take your place in this death mission, by the way, please tape the next episode of  Who Wants To Be  A Millionaire for me though, I’d appreciate that.” (Jek was always a sucker for TV shows) Janson was touched by the bravery of his close friend but he warned Jek: “The X-Wing I have is kind of having problems, it may not be the best one to fly but there are no other replacements, are you sure you want to fly this?” Porkins replied with a hearty laugh: “Only a pussy would back down from such a mission just because of that, I will take that X-Wing and blow down the Death Star!” Janson was said to be extremely touched by his friends bravery.

As I just said, Jek Porkins was given the worse X-Wing in the suicidal mission to blow down the Death Star. Jek was known as “Red 6″ of his pilot crew. There were 12 in the Red force and 7 in the Gold force, adding up to 19 pilots. Jek was 1 out of 19 in this suicidal mission. But you ask me this!: “How did Porkins blow up the Death Star? He died early. lolz”

My friend, you are wrong! Porkins blew up the Death Star, get over it. Sure, it shows in the beginning that his X-Wing indeed blows up.

But what happens after this? Oh, you assume he is dead, it’s the obvious assumption, ehh? Well, he’s not! He is very well alive! Let me explain what happens!

Jek Tono Porkins’ body was carried by the gravitational puddy force of the skies. Porkins knew his very legendary career as a pilot was to come to an end, he knew though, the overweightness in his body would keep him alive! Porkins knew he had to do something amazing before his demise.

There was even PROOF of him being alive after the explosion! In the movie itself, it was asked, “Red 6, have you seen Red 5?”

Porkins knew he’d be mourned and missed by all his comrads but he knew, he had to go down with doing something amazing! Porkins shifted the fatness of his body as close as he could, closer and closer to the Death Star! As he did that, he noticed many other X-Wings blow up, he knew he had to hurry, he had to insert himself into the Death Star, therefore clogging it up and blowing up the Death Star! Porkins moved and moved and finally! His gigantic ass was stuck into it! Porkins heard the Death Star make many noises and he smiled to himself. “This motherfucker’s about to explode!”

MIGHTY PORKINS BRACING HIMSELF IN THE EXPLOSION, INSIDE THE ASSHOLE OF THE DEATH STAR, LAUGHING VICTORIOUSLY! :D

Porkins dissapeared sure, but he took down the motherfucking Death Star down with him! Jek was elected to the Hall of Fame for the Rebels, his bravery and sacrifice had saved the planet from pure destruction.

“Nuh uh! Luke Skywalker blew up the Death Star!!”

STFU! HE DID NOT! WATCH YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!

As the video shows above, it proves it was not Luke who blew up the Death Star. Han Solo shot down the other TIE fighters so Luke Skywalker  would go home, Solo had been contacted by Porkins to do that, Porkins noticed Luke was in trouble and out of the goodness in his heart, knowing he was a relative to the princess, called Han Solo up with his cell phone, alerting him to shoot down the others and save Luke. Porkins was said to be a huge influence to Solo, Solo, upon knowing Porkins was there, came immediately, obeying his orders. (Solo thought Janson was to be Red 6 and not Porkins, which was why he did not fight earlier in the battle) Porkins kind act prevented Luke’s death, blew up the remaining TIE fighters, giving him the passage to the Death Star’s “asshole” as Porkins had referred to, blowing it up, saving the galaxy.

Jek Porkins is easily the baddest motherfucker of Star Wars, his sacrifice insured more Star Wars movies and saved everyone. It was in the first film his sacrifice was made, the audience of the film were touched by his actions, also liking that his sacrifice saved everyone, showing there would indeed be sequels,  therefore making the audience wanting more! If not for Jek Porkins, the Death Star would of lived, the Rebels would of died, and…..Star Wars would of been over in only one film! So, I ask that you take 45 seconds to think of this legendary hero, the best of Star Wars: Jek Tono Porkins. Rest in peace, mighty legend.

God Dammit, Olivia! I Get It!

Hehe, well, this is one of the so called “hottest videos of the 1980’s” according to some, yeah, completely adorable. =0

I listened to this as I worked out but I actually felt myself moving with it, creeeepy! =P
I couldn’t help but listen to it while doing sit ups and shouting, “God dammit, Olivia! I get it!” every damned time she shouted, “Let’s get physical! Physical! Physical! Lemme hear your body talllkkk” etc etc. Damn you I get it!! =P !!!

PS, GUYS I AM IN DIRE NEED OF YOUR HELP!

TrueToonKilla (11 hours ago) Show Hide

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this person needs 2 get shot…

(from my video)

Okay guys, so do me a favor and please fulfill that dude’s wishes. Just fucking shoot me down. I dont care if you use a Remington 870 shotgun, a water gun,  shoot me up with heroin, or even shoot me up with love. I dont care how or what you do,…..JUST FUCKING SHOOT ME! =D

kthxbaiz I less than threez youuuu <3333333

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Updates Aweeeeee, Was I Missed At All? :P

Yeah, Verizon tore me a new one, couldn’t go on for 4 days, bleeehhhh! I even blogged on my own days without internet, don’t ask, just read and welcome me back! I’m in tears so you may want to embrace me and make me feel <333. :(

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Day 1 Of No Internet, April 26, 2008

Well, the internet has kicked me off completely, folks. Nowhere to go, nobody to talk to, nothing to access. It will be like this for an estimated 5 to 8 days, until then, no internet. I’ll live, yeah, I won’t completely break down like some people do, like Gloria Gaynor says – I will survive! :D

I am just focusing my time to other things, exercise, movies, friends, random adventures, there is a ton I can do, even if my county is a complete boring shithole, where the local hangouts in town are the McDonalds and Food Lion store. Yes, folks, I’m not even kidding you. This town doesn’t have anything decent, no local pool, no local movie theater, no local arcade, no Wall Mart, no Mall, nothing. It is all boring, mostly.

I start off the day with my friend, Rob, coming over. We’re doing random shit and my lawnmower is once again, fucked up. Rob is visiting and helping me out with that, he helps me push it to the truck, which was like 400 feet of pushing through thick grass, yeah man, 2 dumb boys pushing a lawnmower all the way to a truck. The lawnmower is one of those you drive around, like a 4 wheeler or something.

I had in mind to visit one of my neighbors to get it fixed. Note: These neighbors are poor rednecks, overweight, poor, live in a very very small house, live on welfare, little education in their minds, yes, bottom of the barrel. 9 out of 10 times, they can fix your shit though and my lawnmower is an absolute fuck up. I decide Rob and I will do that.

We drive a mile down to there place and knock on the door, a large redheaded red skinned redneck is there to greet us. He’s probably 400 something pounds, short, looks like your typical redneck. He is rather friendly though. I’ll identify him as “Redneck #1” for now. I’ve sold lawnmowers and bicycles to him before so he knows me somewhat.
Quick notes: I’m wearing a bandanna with a peace sign on it and a black tank top, my thick hair is rising up and occasionally blowing about in the wind. Rob’s wearing redneck type clothes. [He is a country boy as well.] Redneck #1 is wearing some sweaty t-shirt and just looks like he is poor as hell. [and he is.]

Justin: “Hey man.”
Redneck #1: “Hay buddy!”
Justin: “Yeah, my lawnmower is having problems, was wondering if you want to come by and we’ll let you hang on to it to fix it up.”
Redneck #1: “Alright, man, a sure thing.”
Justin: “Alright, sweet, thanks man.”
*Redneck #1 hops onto back of truck and Rob starts the truck up with me next to him.*

Rob: “Whoa man, his belly keeps getting bigger and bigger.”
Justin: “Haha, yeah. He’s good at fixing things though.”

We all arrive at my place and we put the lawnmower on the truck, I had to hop onto the back to grab the lawnmower in so this time, Redneck #1, aka Louie, is inside the truck with Rob. Rob drove the truck up to Louie’s faster than usual, probably hoping that driving faster would piss me off since I’m sitting in the open, the wind blowing on me, but I loved it. The wind feels good blowing your hair back like that, y’know? :D

We all arrive at Louie’s, one more redneck fat man comes out and some little kid as well.

Myself, Louie, and Rob put the lawnmower off the truck.
Little Redneck Boy: “Wow! Papa! Here’s another thing to work on!”
Redneck #2: “Rudy, you keep your dern mouth shut, boy!”
Little Redneck: “I’ll get to help fix er up, roight?”
Redneck #2: *grunts*
Justin: “So you help Papa out with this kinda stuff, eh?”
Little Redneck: “Yup! I always help Papa!”
Justin: “Alright, well, I’ll give ya 20 dollars for now to get some things needed for it.” *hands over 20 to Louie*
Louie: “Yeeehaw yes sireee, I’ll get roight to work on it!”
*Louie, Redneck #2, and Little Redneck are trying to push the lawnmower by their garage, they are having difficulty.*
Justin: “It’s a hassle man, doesn’t like to be pushed around, it’s like a stubborn ol’ woman.” :P :P :P :P
*All 3 rednecks give a “hee hee haha!” laugh and Rob and I laugh as well*

Haha, well after that, Rob and I get back to my place and his ass is lying on the couch while I type all that just happened, it’s only 11:24 AM, I wonder how my e-buddies are doing? Off for now…more to come! :P

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3:24 P.M.
Well, I’ve done quite a bit since 11:24 A.M. Rob and I went into town, we went to Christian’s Pizza, some really good pizza! I got myself a beef and bacon slice of pizza and a pepperoni and sausage pizza. Rob got two spicy chicken pizzas. We downed those and got a few thing’s from Sam’s Club, as we were leaving there, I saw a little girl that must have been like 4 or 5 I guess, she was staring at a gumball machine and obviously wanted a gumball, so I put in two quarters for her and she got herself a gumball. It was cute, she smiled happily and repeated “thank you” and I just smiled and said “You’re welcome.” Her mother also smiled and thanked me, it made me feel pretty good inside and it was only for giving up two quarters, Rob couldn’t help but laugh at me, haha. It was a simple thing to do and it made someone really happy, so in turn, it makes me feel really happy, just doing one little deed. ^_^

Then we dropped off some CD’s at a friend of mine’s house. As we did that, it all of the sudden just poured rain nonstop and heavy for like 10 minutes and then after that, it was bright and sunny as if nothing happened! I love it when that happens, man! Good ol Summer weather! We ended up soaked and as we were driving around in that rain, there was this car dragging this platform with chairs on it and these old people sitting on it had chairs over their heads! They were trying to not get wet! I couldn’t help it, I laughed out loud! It was hilarious! :P
Rob and I drove back to Louie’s and the lawnmower was fixed, I paid Louie a $50 and had to drive the lawnmower back to the house as Rob drove the truck back. We got the lawnmower back and Rob and I went are separate ways. Now, I’m home, enjoying this nice thunderstorm outside! I got to mow the lawn right before the storm. So yeah, this was a nice day, thought I blog about it, even though I cant actually post it on my blog yet. It’ll be there soon and you can read of my times without being online for a few days, well, take care! I’m going to run outside and enjoy this thunderstorm!! :D

Day 2 Of No Internet, April 27, 2008

9:28 P.M.
Well, today’s been one of those days, not much has been done today for me to be honest. I’ve just been relaxing, watching movies, playing music, etc. I haven’t gone outside very much today compared to yesterday. I woke up around 7:00 and had my breakfast, pancakes and syrup. I heard of the unfortunate news of Chris Long, who was my favorite player off my favorite college football team for years, was drafted by my least favorite National Football team, the St. Louis Rams, damn!! I was pissed about that but happy for Chris anyways, but it will suck because my favorite team plays the Rams twice a year. L
He was drafted 2^nd overall and another Virginia player, Brandon Albert, was drafted 15^th overall. I’m happy for both of them turning pro and being picked so early, I had a lot of fun going up to their games last season and other previous seasons. Another previously graduated player I liked, Tom Santi, also managed to get drafted.

I slouched around in the living room and watched a movie I like, Predator, it’s a really good Sci-Fi action one with Governor Ahnuld! “Get to da chopppaaaaaa!!” :D
I spent some time working on a new story I’ve decided to write. It’s called, “1,2,3,4, What Are We Fighting For?” and it’s about a guy who unfortunately, is drafted to the Vietnam war, fucking all of his hopes of playing professionally with his band and being with the woman of his dreams. The main character is named Johnny “Huxley” Armstrong and is mainly based off my own persona, even having my nickname as his main name. If you want to read it, just let me know and I’ll send it to ya. :D

I’ve played guitar for countless hours in my boredom state, my fingers are feeling so weird, man, lol. I played both, the Ovation acoustic and the Yamaha electric for what must have been a combined total of 5 hours today. I also played a stench of harmonica and electric keyboard as well.

I’ve found time to work out as well, I like to try and keep in shape. A little bit of lifting and I’ll admit, I own an Ab-Lounge to make sure my belly doesn’t become huge! :P
I think I’m going to try and grow sxe abs, look out folks! :P :P :P :P

I talked with my dad about the roadtrip thing and it’s sounding better and better! He’s been and lived in California in the past and is very familiar with it. He’s got friends who’ll let us stay with them for times and he also told me there might be naked beaches, where you basically have to strip down completely naked to fit in, haha. He told me they might not still be around but might still be, we might check those out. It’s pretty interesting though. We talked of what music to bring and how many concerts we would hope to attend and such, all that good shit. My dad and I are pretty close.

What does Justin look like? Ahh, something everyone’s been wondering. Well, you may know, soon! We’ll probably have a camera with us so some pics will be taken I imagine. I could upload some pics onto the blog and you will all know what I look like, I just hope your monitors don’t break once they reveal me! :P :P

I also watched the Wolf Trap concert DVD from the Doobie Brothers concert I attended a few years ago, the one where I saw Keith Knudsen and sort of predicted it’d be the last time I’d see him. Yeah, long story, it’s in a past blog post I did, called “Whooooooo!” I think, it’s about a Doobie Brothers song, What A Fool Believes. That’ll explain that whole crazy story. ^_^

Well, yeah, today was just one of those days. Sit around, relax, do silly shit, and what not. Anyways, take care! I can’t wait until I can actually share all this bullshit with all my online buddies! Oh, and eventually see the new choochooloco video, the wait has been such a bitch! Haha! :D

Day 3 Of No Internet, April 28, 2008

7:22 P.M.

Overall, today was a crummy long day. L
It was dark and rainy, not very warm at all. I had a headache for most of the day and about every moment of the day kicked shit in my face and sucked…but there were these 3 minutes and 42 seconds that were absolutely amazing! J
I managed to get on a computer away from home for about 10 minutes and got to YouTube, which is typically blocked, but somehow, I got lucky. There, I FINALLY saw the new choochooloco video! :D
It was like the Thai commercial moments, once the video started, I heard the dramatic victorious music and felt my spirits jump high, like it were an impossible goal that I just completed! I felt so happy, I finally saw the choochooloco video and it was LOLZY material! Waaaay awesome!! :D :D
Yeah, that was easily the highlite best moment of my boring and awful day. So, thanks Sharlene and Ashley! ^_^
It seems I might have the new modem tomorrow for the internet, not completely sure, but it may just be here tomorrow, so all this silly shit I’ve typed may be on the blog soon and actual real people besides myself can read and comment! Weeee! Now I’m not completely talking to myself!! :D :D

9:53 P.M.

Okay, I remember where Sharlene instructed me to go to record myself on my computer, so out of major boredom, I decided to try it! I cannot help but start laughing at my own voice clips! God! I’m so fucking gay! Hahahaha!! :D
I even recorded my reaction to “My Little Pony” so if you want to see that, I’ll send it to you! [if I know your e-mail of course] and I guess I could send other stupid recordings too. A quick FYI, the My Little Pony recording is 41.50 seconds! :P :P
Also, this Friday, I am going to another Eli Cook concert! This one is completely free too! :D

Okay, goodnight!! See you all back on the internets, tomorrow?? <333 :D

Day 4: 8:47 P.M.

I am finally back….someone hold me! :( :(

Random Update :P

Just thought I’d give a random update. :)

I’ll start off with a good note, I’ve got another concert booked up this year!! That’s right folks, June 12th, while on my roadtrip, fortune smiles on me! The Doobie Brothers will be performing in Kansas City!! I’ll be able to catch that, it’ll probably be a lot of fun because I’ve never even been to Kansas City before! I so can’t wait for this Summer!! :D

MySpace….ughhh. :(
I get so many whores trying to add me, even after I changed my header to: Justin …is asking all the Whores of MySpace to not try and add me. kthanskbai
They still won’t stop and every damned time I open my E-mail I get the whole “*random slut* Wants To Be Your Friend!” message, they are so annoying! Yeah, they get banned quickly and thankfully but still, so damn annoying. It’s killing my E-Mail! :/

		MySpace Friend Request		Ronnica would like to be added as one of your friends!‎ – Hi Justin, Ronnica would like to be added to your MySpace friends list. By accepting Ronnica as …		3:13 am
		MySpace Friend Request		Allison would like to be added as one of your friends!‎ – Hi Justin, Allison would like to be added to your MySpace friends list. By accepting Allison as …		2:44 am
		MySpace Friend Request		Rosie would like to be added as one of your friends!‎ – Hi Justin, Rosie would like to be added to your MySpace friends list. By accepting …		2:34 am
		MySpace Friend Request		Kelly would like to be added as one of your friends!‎ – Hi Justin, Kelly would like to be added to your MySpace friends list. By accepting Stephen as …		2:32 am
		MySpace Friend Request		Kerrie would like to be added as one of your friends!‎ – Hi Justin, Kerrie would like to be added to your MySpace friends list. By accepting Kerrie as …		7:05 pm

But back to the bright side, I’ve spent a lot of my time listening to Chet Atkins, who was an extremely good guitarist. Growing up in Virginia, which is a bottom of the line rednecky country type of place, I always get questions about Country music of course. “Hey Justin, you like Trace Atkins??” “Ohh God no! But I do like CHET Atkins!” I like a few in country but I think Chet Atkins tops the list, my dad really likes Chet Atkins and my dad’s not into country music at all. The only ones I really love in country music are Chet Atkins, Johnny Cash, and Lynyrd Skynyrd [old version anyways] because they all had more than just singing about tractors, trailers, horses, and blonde bitches.

Just give that a listen, it sounds so damn good, he’s a brilliant guitarist and musician! The sounds coming from that guitar’s just so crisp, has that really nice feeling, like the sound you can picture when you’re over at your grandma’s and she just made a really sweet meal or maybe a type of feeling of when you’re with a really nice, cute, outgoing girl at a county fair or something, idk. Like I said, can’t really put it in words! All I know is this: 1. I love Chet Atkins’ music. 2. It sounds great. 3. It will never get old. 4. R.I.P. Chet. :( 5. Whoever is reading this and hasn’t heard Chet Atkins needs to listen to him now! :P

Man, last morning was completely awesome. I wake up early lately, like 2/3 o’clock early and I pull out one of my or maybe even both guitars and just play the shit out of them and relax while waiting for the Sun to rise. It’s really such a peaceful harmony, play a big black acoustic while the Sun’s appearing to brighten the day. I can’t put it in words, it was just so relaxing and so worth getting up early, I love the feeling so much. :)

I also have Friday off! Hell yeah! I so need a break, lol. I can devote that day to having fun with my guitar or just flat out relaxing, man I cannot wait for that! I’ll listen to plenty of good music and put myself in a relaxed peaceful harmony.

I’m so jealous of my dad’s guitar. It’s a Taylor 414 Mace, limited edition of 2000 and I cannot describe how good it sounds! It’s just Class A brilliance, the look, the sound, everything about it is just amazing! Easily the best Acoustic Guitar I’ve ever played!! I’m not even kidding with this one…..I think someone with limp wrists or no hands could sound good with that guitar! My father, who’s been playing I think 40 plus years, can really make that son of a bitch sound brilliant!!

A quick note, the guitar’s worth $1500 but my dad somehow got it for $800, it’s expensive but holy mother of God! It sounds great!! It puts my Ovation GCO57 to shame but my Ovation sounds good, but this Taylor 414 sounds GREAT!

My God! I really really cannot wait for Summer! I want to do this road trip so badly! I just want to tour the country while playing my Ovation and listening to great music! I’ll have to find someone to go with me, though. It could even be my own father and if I can get him to bring that Taylor [and i doubt he would, grr] that would be incredibly awesome!

Well, there’s my little update, not sure if I forgot anything or not, ehh. Well anywho, take care friends! :P
Comments would be appreciated very much! :D